Marriage or Zina: Which one will you choose for your children?

Author: Saman Uzma

Marriages in Islam are considered to be a very important Sunnah. But have we ever thought why it is getting so difficult to get married these days. When I thought of this topic, I recalled many people around me who are willing to get married but are not able to.

Problems are many… It is difficult to find the right partner. Even if they find a person with all “characteristics” they are looking for, caste system makes it more difficult.

But the issue which I want to raise is the extravagances done in marriages these days. For a middle-class man with minimal earning, it is the most difficult task to get their daughters and sons married. They start earning and collecting money at the time their daughters are born. The expenses done in different customs and rituals are so huge that it becomes unbearable. And it applies to both, the bride and bridegroom’s side.

Now the question arises “Why are marriages so important?”

The general purpose of marriage is that the men and women can love one another, provide company to each other, procreate and live in peace and tranquility obeying the commandments of Allah (swt). Marriage serves as means to emotional and physical gratification. And if we try to understand the nature of a human, we will find out that a human needs a partner not only for the physical satisfaction but also for the emotional support. It is one of the primary needs of a human which comes after food, shelter and clothing.

That is why our beloved Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power".

The consequences of not paying attention on this important Hadeeth can be seen very clearly in the society. Modesty is a lost feature now. Dating can be seen as a habit in youngsters. If a youngster does not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, he/she is considered to be very outdated and good for nothing. We are progressing towards a society, where Zina is becoming a very common feature. And all this is because of delay in marriages - which is due to lack of money to spend extravagance in unnecessary rituals. Nowadays, it is easy to indulge in Zina. We have made Zina easier for our youngsters than getting married. If a youngster really wants to follow Shariah, and asks his parents to get him or her married, the answer they get is that ‘We are not in a situation to get you married before one or two years, we need some more time to collect the required money’. And after this if this youngster gets involved in a relationship not allowed by Shariah, whom are you going to blame? Aren’t their parents responsible for that?

Problems in the society can be solved only if we turn back to the Sunnah of our Prophet (peace be upon him). We are the one, who should be blamed for whatever is happening in the society today. And it is only we who can demolish this from the society. We need to combat with this society and change the customs; not only for us, but also for our children.

Allah commands in the Glorious Quran “And come not near to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).” [Surah Isra (17):32]

Marriage or Zina, What do you want for your children? The choice is yours…